You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
