i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
