I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Be still, my beating vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
