Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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