My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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