ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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