Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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