Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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