Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
