We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
