I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
