The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
