Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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