went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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