I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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