If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
