he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
