My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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