i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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