Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well I just put wine in my tea
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize