Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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