White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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