Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
