Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize