You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
