"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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