wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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