That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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