I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
