Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize