I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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