You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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