Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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