i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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