At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize