I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
