6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
