Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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