i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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