Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
