We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
