I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
