She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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