It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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