paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
