I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
