apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
