You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
