Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
