He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
