I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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