a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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