just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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