Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
