Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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