Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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