I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
