you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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