You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You took a bar mat shot.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
