is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
