But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
her vagine was all disorganized.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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