Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize