And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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