Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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