that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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