Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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