so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
