well you can't waste a boner
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
