You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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