i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
