Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
