she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
